US PGA Championship 2013: third round, as it happened | Scott Murray (2024)

That, then, is that for a fascinating day's play. It was absolute mayhem early doors, but settled down as the afternoon wore on. Jim Furyk was simply magnificent, Jason Dufner and Henrik Stenson were staunch, Jonas Blixt was explosive. And, if you want to dream an unlikely dream, Rory McIlroy and Lee Westwood have given themselves an outside chance. Sleep tight, good people, we've got a big day of major championship golf ahead of us!

-9: Furyk
-8: Dufner
-7: Stenson
-6: Blixt
-5: Stricker, Scott
-3: McIlroy, Westwood
-2: D Johnson, Streelman, Castro
-1: Warren, Toms, Z Johnson, Haas, Lynn, Hoffman, Simpson, Garrigus, Kuchar

Scott can't roll in his birdie putt, a shame as he'd otherwise played the hole in textbook fashion. He misses on the right, and taps in for par, a disappointing 72, his round bookended by nonsense. But he's -5 overall, and still hopeful of his second major of 2013. Dufner meanwhile really should miss his par putt on the right, but the ball, having stopped on the right lip, starts up again, wanders around to the back of the cup, and topples in backwards, apologetically, like a drunk. Dufner's signing for a one-over 71, but he steadied the ship well after an uncertain front nine, coming home one-under. He's -8, and will be going out last with Furyk tomorrow.

Dufner lays up, a big slug of medicine. Scott fires his approach pin high, a fine chance for birdie from 15 feet. And Dufner will have chance to save his par, as he flies his wedge over the flag and spins it back pin high to five feet. Not that short ones are a gimme for The Somnambulist. "Jonas Blixt is a headline writer's dream," opines Mac Millings. "I'm eschewing the obvious 'Blixtkrieg' stuff, and hoping he lips out on his putt to win it on the 18th tomorrow, going on to lose in a playoff. Head: 'There's Many a Slip Blixt Cup and Lip.'" He's here all week, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately for Mac's punning purple period, that week ends in 24 hours and three minutes.

Dufner hoicks his drive into rough down the right of 18, then flings his driver into his bag in frustration. He feels! Scott, buoyed by his escape at the last, blooters one straight down the middle.

Scott sets his par effort out to the left - "three balls left," advises his caddy Steve Williams - and three balls it is, the putt sailing into the centre of the cup! What a wonderful saving effort! What a difference that might make tomorrow. Scott owes Williams three balls of delicious malt whisky for that one. Dufner takes his two putts for par. And up on 18, Furyk rolls his par putt up the green and into the middle of the cup! To huge cheers, the 2003 US Open champ signs for a 68, is likely to be the sole leader tonight, and at -9 is certain to be in the final group tomorrow.

Scott clips his third pin high, but is left with a 12-footer to save his par. Furyk meantime hits a superlative wedge, flying it over the flag, the ball spinning all the way back and onto the apron at the front of this particular little corner of the green. But that's a very makeable par putt. There's been no calmer player than Furyk today. Whatever happens with this par saver, he's been brilliant today after an appalling start, too.

There you go, Furyk lays up. Though not particularly well, as he's still got a fair distance to the green, and he's tight on the right of the fairway, so has less of an angle coming in to the pin, which is hidden snugly in the right-hand corner behind a bunker and Blixt's Bank.

Behind a load of trees, that's where! But he's got a route out onto the fairway, which is where he dispatches his second. He'll at least get a wedge in his hand to attempt an up and down to save par. But this is a very shabby denouement to Scott's round, a shame and something of a shock after that smooth, stunning drive on 14. Dufner, for his part, creams a 5-iron into the heart of the green, nearly as great a shot as Furyk's before him, though probably twice the distance from the flag. Still, a chance of birdie.

Dufner pearls one straight down the middle of 17. Scott, however, clatters another drive into a tree. Oh for goodness sake. The ball drops straight down, though who knows where that one's ended up.

Dufner can't make his birdie putt, the ball losing pace just before the cup and drifting off to the left. He remains at -8. Furyk leaves himself a puzzle on 18, because he takes half the tee with him, duffing a shot into the rough down the right. It leaves him with a very long shot indeed, of nearly 270 yards. I'm sensing sensible lay-up ahead! Meanwhile up on the green, Stenson rattles his long birdie putt six feet past the hole, but calmly strokes in the return to sign for a 69. He's -7 for this tournament, and the new clubhouse leader, a shot ahead of his compatriot Blixt!

Scott punches his ball onto the green, but can only get within 15 feet of the hole. The one saving grace is, his bogey effort is uphill. What a huge putt this is in terms of when he'll go out tomorrow. Well, he doesn't hit it. Double bogey; he's back to -5. Meanwhile, action on 18, where Stenson hoicks a drive into nonsense down the right, but powers his second over the banks guarding the front and onto the green. And what's this on 17? It's Furyk calmly stroking in a richly deserved birdie putt, the ball drifting serenely from left to right and in. He's the sole leader again at -9.

Stricker nearly drains a long birdie putt on 18, but he'll settle for par on the hole, and for his round too. He signs for 70, and remains at -5, right in the mix for this tournament! Back on 16, Scott takes an animalistic thrash through the deep rough, but only sends his third into even tighter garbage to the front-left of the green. That's on a downslope, too, so good luck making bogey, never mind saving it.

Scott, under a tree, hits another tree, his ball going no more than 50 yards forward. "Aw man!" he cries. Better vibes surrounding Dufner, who finds the heart of the green, and Furyk up on 17, who clatters a majestic second to 12 feet! We've not seen that at the 17th too often today, or indeed any time this week!

Dufner on 16: fairway. Furyk on 17: fairway. Scott on 16: trees down right. Oop! Way up the 17th, Stenson judges his third shot, a monster putt from the front of the green, beautifully. His ball rolls to 12 inches or so, and that'll be a par. "Scottie dearest," simpers Mac Millings, before beginning to swing haymakers in an alarming fashion, "you can tellWilliam Carlos Williams-bothering, polyglot radiator fetishist Ian Copestakethat Mr. Stenson won't be bringing home theSmørrebrød before the Somnambulist snatches away whatever the American equivalent is. Deep-fried high-fructose corn syrup?" And two pints of it, with a scoop of ice cream in each, barkeep!

Is all as was. From the rough down the left, Furyk guides a controlled iron into the back of 16, then calmly takes his two putts - briefly flirting with making birdie on a large right-to-left breaker - for par. And back on 15, Scott and Dufner share four putts and two pars between them. No dramas. I think round three's consignment of excitement was used up early doors, and yes I am saying that in the hope of tempting fate.

No leader board for a while. You can sue me, but that doesn't mean I'm not sad about it and sorry, too, so here it is!

-8: Furyk (15), Dufner (14)
-7: Stenson (16), Scott (14)
-6: Blixt (F)
-5: Stricker (17)
-3: McIlroy (F), Westwood (F)
-2: Johnson (F), Streelman (F), Castro (F), Garrigus (16), Kuchar (15)

Furyk, his backswing drawing a treble clef in the air, sends his drive at 16 whistling into the filth down the left. Back on 15, Scott clacks a heavy iron into the par-three green, flirting dangerously with the water on the right. But he gets just enough on it, and will have a long two putts for par. Dufner plays sensibly away from the drink, hitting his pin high, but well to the left of the flag. By the way, there was some sort of online competition or other to pick the pin location at 15 tomorrow; it's going to be to the right, by the water. Not that far from where it is today, really. Ah, the innate conservatism of the online mob. Well done, everyone!

Dufner holes out! A left-to-right slider down the green, a par saver he had no real right to make, to be honest. That's a priceless momentum saver! He's now the joint leader, still at -8. But Scott's only a shot behind him now: he isn't aggressive with his eagle effort, and the putt dies to the left, but he's got an easy tap-in for his birdie. He's -7/

Furyk can't hole his six footer, failing to hit his uphill putt, the ball dying to the left. He's back to -8 in a tie with Dufner, but for how long? Because Dufner has trundled his long putt miles past the hole at 14, and will be doing well to knock in a 12-footer for his par.

Furyk pulls his tee shot at 15 into sand at the back, but splashes out to six feet.Not a certain par. Dufner clips his second at 14 into the heart of the green, but the ball spins back to Furyk Country. He'll have a tricky two putts for par. Stricker finds the heart of 17 with a fairway wood. Scott's just hanging around admiring his own work. What a drive that was. Smooth as you like.

On 18, Sergio drains a birdie putt from the fringe. He walks off with a face on, and no wonder, because he's signing for a 75. He's +3.

C. CCC.

Stenson can't make his par putt on 15, his effort drifting right of the cup. He's back to -7 now. But up on 14, Scott - who has been quiet all day - suddenly makes his move! He clatters - smoothly, mind - a drive onto the green at 14, the ball rolling up the slope to within 15 feet. What a chance he'll have for eagle!

Hmm. Well, maybe Stenson's trying to start something to keep Rory and Lee happy. He takes far too much grass with his chip on 15, and leaves himself a good 15 feet for par. Meanwhile Dufner opts to lay up on 14, Furyk style, and finds a divot in the middle of the fairway! Up on the green, Furyk showcases his lovely putting touch, trundling a monster all the way up the green to two feet, then calmly stroking in for par.

If the McIlroys and Westwoods of this world, in the clubhouse at -3, are to have a realistic chance tomorrow, most of the five players above them still out on the course are going to have to start coming backwards. At the moment, none of them look like doing so, although of course the really difficult holes are yet to come. Scott and Dufner fail to make their birdie putts at 13, while Furyk's approach to 14 is weak and only finds the front of the large green with the pin at the back, all of which is some sort of help for those back down the leader board, I suppose.

Scott and Dufner lay up at 13, as you do. Scott flies his third over the flag to 15 feet. That's a fine shot. Dufner's is better, though, landing by Scott's ball and spinning back to ten feet, maybe eight. Both are decent birdie chances. Up on 14, Furyk doesn't bother booming for the green, opting to lay up on the fairway instead. And on 15, Stenson sends his tee shot into rough between bunkers to the left of the green.

Brilliance from Stenson, who cards his second birdie in a row at the short par-four 14th. His drive plugs in the rough at the front of the green. He bumps an average pitch into the centre of the dancefloor - then rakes in the 20-footer for his birdie! He's -8 and tied for second with Dufner!

Scott takes an iron off 13 for safety, and finds the rough. That's Tigeresque. Up the hole, Furyk rather clumsily sends his third shot 15 feet past the hole, and he has to settle for par. "Who needs athletes when you've got golfers?" asks Simon McMahon, though he's not after an answer from you. "Sid Waddell would have loved Dufner. As he once said of Jocky Wilson as he stood on stage, pint in one hand and fa*g in the other, 'What an athlete'."

Rose. Remember him? After so much suffering today, he finally experienced a little bittersweet joy at 12 with a birdie that brought him back to +1, and now he's a turn of the ball from a second on the bounce at 13. But no. He wanders off the green with a wry grin on his grid. Up on 12, Scott is the width of a Titelist log away from birdie, while Dufner clacks an appalling effort to the left of the hole, but not far enough away that a tap-in for par is beyond him. Furyk's move apart, there's a sense that time's going by, with no great dramas to report for some time now.

Stenson sends his third at the long par-five 13th to 15 feet, and rolls a perfectly judged putt up the hill for a birdie. He's -7, and in sole ownership of third place! "Myself and the Norwegians have all our collective hope now invested in Stenson," writes Ian Copestake, who regular readers will remember from yesterday, chained to a radiator in the basem*nt of an Oslo hotel. "I fully expect him to bring home theSmørrebrød."

Neither Dufner nor Scott were close enough to expect their birdie putts on 11 to drop for sure, and so it was. But Furyk, who arrows one straight at the flag on 12, rolls a 20-foot birdie putt straight up the green and into the cup! He's the sole leader again at -9! Stricker's on his way back, too, with birdie at 13; he's -5. Matt Kuchar's slipping away, though: a bogey at 11 is his third in the last four holes, after shedding shots at 8 and 9. He's +5 today already, and -2 for the tournament.

Dufner's got his tail up again, as well as a share of the lead, and he clatters a superb hybrid pin high at 11. Scott follows with a long iron, straight at the flag! Up on 12, Stenson scrambles well from sand, or rather sinks a long par saver after a dismally played hole.

Scott plays what is surely the shot of the day, from deep rough down the left of 10, powering his ball to the front of the green and sending it bouncing round to the left, six feet from the hole. Majestic. First, though, Dufner's got a 25-footer for birdie, and he rattles it in! Brilliant! It might have spooked Scott, who pushes his short birdie effort to the right, and must settle for par. That's going to feel like a 7-iron to the swingers. Especially as up on 11, Furyk escapes from his bunker with par.

Scott sends his drive into thick stuff down the left of 10. Dufner finds the fairway. And the new leader Furyk pulls his tee shot at 11 into sand to the left of the green. This has been a magnificent tournament so far, captivating from the very beginning. "Dufner is this generation's Bruce Lietzke," opines Keith Alt. "Bruce was famous for not practicing and playing just enough tournaments to support his family so that he could spend the rest of his time fishing. My kind of athlete!" Yep, golf's been famous for folk like this, from Walter Hagen through Brian Barnes (below) to Miguel Angel Jimenez. Long may it continue. I can't be bothered with athletes any more. They're so goddamn dull.

We have a new sole leader! Jim Furyk rolls his birdie putt up 10, the ball never looking like missing the cup! He's -8! Dufner and Scott two-putt the 9th. And with Blixt knocking in his short putt for birdie at the last, to sign for a blemish-free best-of-day 66 - he's the only player in the field without a bogey! - this is how the leaderboard now looks:

-8: Furyk (10)
-7: Dufner (9)
-6: Blixt (F), Stenson (10), Scott (9)
-4: Stricker (11)
-3: McIlroy (F), Westwood (F), Castro (14), Simpson (12), Kuchar (10)

What a shot by Jonas Blixt on 18! He surely didn't mean to make his approach to the green like this, but it flies over the bunker on the right, hits the downside of the bank on the other side of the trap, and rolls towards the tucked-away pin, three feet from the hole, if that. He'll surely make that birdie putt, though after Dufner's egregious effort on 8, let's count no chickens.

Steve Stricker drops a shot at 11, missing the green with his tee shot and watching his 15-foot par saver slide by. Back on 10, Furyk - who all of a sudden is the form player - arrows his approach at the pin, the ball biting and spinning back, resting 12 feet below the cup. And in the last match on 9, Scott and Dufner both find the putting surface in regulation, though neither are particularly close.

On 10, Stenson, from the centre of the fairway, flicks an idiotic wedge into the sand to the left of the green, and he's shortsided. No worries. He gently spoons the ball out to a couple of feet, and will save his par to remain at -6. A nightmare today for Ian Poulter, by the way, who was looking so good for a while on the first day, coming off the back of a wonderful showing at Muirfield. He's shot an appalling 77, coming back in 40, and at +8 for the tournament is only saved from last spot by Stephen Gallacher (+9), Phil Mickelson (+10) and Gary Woodland (+13).

Westwood can't quite reach the hole with his long birdie putt at 17, but par will do nicely. At 8, Scott calmly finds the centre of the green to make par. Dufner's in the centre too, but though he lags his first putt up, he manages to miss the par tiddler, and drops back to -7. On 9, Furyk - now the co-leader - is pin high with a 20-footer across the green for birdie, but he can't make it. Par. So here we go:

-7: Furyk (9), Dufner (8)
-6: Stenson (10), Scott (8)
-5: Blixt (17), Stricker (10)
-3: McIlroy (F), Westwood (17), Simpson (11), Kuchar (9)

Kuchar can't save his par, sad to say. What a chip he'd played, too. He drops back to -4. Another fine iron into the green by Stenson, this time at 9, but he doesn't hit the birdie putt up the hill. Westwood batters a long iron straight at the flag on 17. He'll have a birdie putt at a very difficult hole. Stricker nearly holes a bump and run from the front of 9 for birdie, but stays at -5.

Dufner is still swinging well, and he clips his approach at 7 to 12 feet - then curls in a left-to-right breaker for birdie! He's back to -8! What a fine response to that shambles going up 6. Scott had hit an equally good iron into the green, but couldn't convert. He stays at -6, and it's not really been happening for him today. Furyk knocks in his birdie effort on 8; he's -7. And Blixt drains a long par saver on 16, to remain at -5. He's refused to let his momentum slip away on this back nine.

Matt Kuchar might just have left himself the hardest poser in the history of All Golf! Going into 8, Furyk lifts a tasty approach to ten feet, straight at the pin, tucked away at the back. Kuchar looks to follow him in, but bounces down a huge bank to the left. Now, the pin's situated on a little corridor of grass with sand over the other side. And remember he's left one in the thick stuff today already. A double awaits surely. But no! He Mickelsons a superlative lob onto the small putting surface on offer to him, and will have a six-footer to save par!

"I can't wait for tomorrow," says Rory McIlroy. "Depending on what the leaders do, I hope the breeze stays up and they come back a bit, and I can have a good shot at this tomorrow!"

-7: Dufner (6)
-6: Stenson (8), Furyk (7), Scott (6)
-5: Blixt (13), Stricker (9), Kuchar (7)
-3: McIlroy (F), Westwood (15), Piercy (12), Simpson (10)

Birdie for Stenson on 8 after a lovely second over the flag to six feet! He's -6 and, a form horse in the majors, this could be his time. Westwood pokes a short par effort dribble weakly to the right of the hole on 16. He's back to -3, and has that affronted look on his coupon, as though it's not his fault he failed to hit through the ball. Speaking of folk often spotted wearing the titty lip, what's happening to Sergio? Oh I'll tell you what's happening to Sergio! He went out in 40 strokes, carding two doubles along the way. He looked to have literally and metaphorically turned the corner, birdieing 10, but he's just handed that shot straight back. He's +5 for the day, and +2 for the tournament. Bye, then!

Dufner and Scott take turns to send gorgeous 7-irons into 6. That's particularly impressive by Dufner, who must be reeling after events down the last. Neither can make their birdie putts, though. Up on 7, Rose sheds another shot. This is becoming painful to watch. Two holes of the front nine still to play, and he's already taken two more strokes than he did along them yesterday. He's +1. Oh my. "With their close-up of Dufner tonguing out his plug of used-up leaves, CBS Sports just showed the world that Dufner chews tobacco!" reports Thomas Van Pelt."Imagine how much more sleepy he'd be without that constant nicotine drip!" Aye. His morning alarm clock is probably fitted with a defibrillator.

A birdie for Stricker at 8, having dropped shots at 4 and 6, and he's -5 again. Stenson misses his birdie chance at 7. And Westwood gets up and down from the front of 14 for a birdie, and he's suddenly -4 and only three off the lead. But what about this on 18! McIlroy's through the back of the green, in the thick stuff, but he sends a delightfully fluffy chip down the slope and curling right to left, and into the cup! He clenches his fist in delight, then pumps the air, and with that birdie-birdie finish, he's signed for a 67! He's -3 for the tournament, and in with a shout tomorrow unless the leaders get their gamefaces on, which at the moment looks unlikely! Whatever happens this week, the defending champion's back, baby, he's back.

Scott has a birdie putt to tie the lead. It's downhill, though, and he seriously overcooks it, pulling it left and sending it six feet past the hole! He rattles in the return and stays at -6, one behind Dufner who puts in his missable double-bogey putt and drops to -7. On the whole, this is carnage, and to think we wondered if someone would match or better Dufner's round yesterday! Oh I don't think so! [slaps own wrist]

We've seen Webb Simpson batter a chip out of the greenside rough at 5 and into the water, and Dufner nearly follows him. Luckily for the current leader, he's stopped one joule short of giving the ball enough energy to scoot into the glug. Dufner doesn't hit his bogey putt uphill, and there's still work to do for his double! Meanwhile one of the escapes of the day at 6 for Kuchar, who plopped his tee shot into thick abuse, but flopped out down a slippery green to three feet, and stroked in the par putt. He's still at -5, deservedly so. What a chip!

Rose can't make his birdie putt on 6, failing dismally to hit a very friendly putt that had little break. Dufner takes his drop at 5 and clatters his third to the right of the green into thick business. Scott meanwhile sends his second over the flag to 12 feet. Meanwhile Westwood plants his drive at the risk/reward 14th just in front of the green, where opportunities await. And on 7, Stenson, who has been going along quietly, arrows his approach to 12 feet.

The defending champion isn't out of this quite yet! He's just drained a 50-foot birdie putt on 17, to move to -2! If the leaders continue to shake and crawl round this course, he could be within striking distance tomorrow! A lot of ifs there, of course, though Dufner's ball did in fact make it through the branches and into the water, so this tournament will have a different look soon enough.

Rose, golf being as it is, hits one of the shots of the day at the par-three 6th, straight at the flag. He'll have an uphill birdie putt from 12 feet. Meanwhile Blixt is in a bit of trouble coming up the long 13th, but wedges his fourth shot to two feet and will save par. And here's a bit of hope for the field: Dufner pushes an amateurish drive straight into the branches of a large tree down the right of 5. He might not be in Kuchar's Creek, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not still in a lot of trouble. Speaking of Kuchar, he took his drop, arrowed an iron into the heart of the green, but can't drain his 20-foot par scrambler. He's back to -5.

Scott races his birdie putt past the hole, but calmly knocks the one back in for par. That was vital. Dufner can't make his birdie effort. I'd say he was kidding on that he doesn't care, but I don't think he does. Par. Meanwhile Westwood sticks his approach right over the flag at 13; he'll have a 12-footer for birdie, but was unlucky the ball didn't bite and come back closer.

The wind is causing the players a whole bunch of bother. Scott sends his wedge into 4 onto the apron, a birdie unlikely. He peers at the skies in malevolent fashion, or as malevolent as this mild-mannered man is ever likely to get. The Somnambulist doesn't care for the wind either way, though, and yawns a wedge to eight feet. Meanwhile Kuchar bombs his drive at 5 into water down the right. And up on the green, Rose taps in for a double bogey - and nearly misses the short tap-in, too, so hard does he strike it from an inch in annoyance! He's +6 for the day through five holes! To recap: he's taken 26 shots so far today, and only took 29 on the front nine yesterday! This is turning into a pile-up!

Did you think Justin Rose's day couldn't get any worse? Naw naw naw naw naw.His approach to 5 bites on the front of the green, then spins back onto the rocks by the water. He does that little tickling-a-cow's-udder-and-then-going-to-prison-for-tickling-a-cow's-udder mime with his hand, the universal sign for GIVE ME ANOTHER BALL, I'M ON A ROLLING BOIL. But some forward momentum at last: Furyk rolls in a 12-footer on 4, having sent in a lovely wedge, and he's back to -6. Meanwhile on 7, Kaymer - who had dropped yet another at 6 - rattles in a 30-foot left-to-right slider to move back to -3.

And the minute I say that, the dependable Steve Stricker fails to roll a 20-footer in for par at 6. Westwood, having missed a ten-footer at 11 for par, grabs the shot back on the very next hole, pitching to six feet and stroking in the birdie putt. He's -3 again, and suddenly a lot of players will be fancying their chances again, Dufner becoming something of an outlier.

All of a sudden, Dufner has a three-shot lead! Of the players near the top at the start of this round, only Dufner, Blixt, Stricker and Charley Hoffman aren't going backwards. Time for a leader board:

-9: Dufner (3)
-6: Kuchar (3), Scott (3)
-5: Blixt (11), Stricker (5), Stenson (4), Furyk (3)
-4: Hoffman (5), Garrigus (5)

Scott splashes out at 3 to 12 feet. That's not brilliant, but it is below the hole and gives him a chance to save his par. Which he can't. He drops back to -6. Dufner, on the other hand, rolls a 40-footer up the green to a couple of inches! He taps in for a par on a hole that's been wreaking havoc! Rose, meanwhile, was always chasing his par after that drive down 4, and he drops his fourth stroke of the day. This is a disastrous start for the US Open champ. He's already taken 20 shots today, and to think he traversed the front nine in 29 strokes yesterday! That, ladies and gentlemen, is golf!

Westwood pushes a short one to the right of the cup on 11, dropping back to -2. Scott dumps his tee shot at the troublesome 3rd into a bunker, but that's a lot better than finding himself in Kucheresque rough. Dufner hits his effort hard and true, but it only just reaches the front of the green. What a difficult hole this is. And the course is showing its teeth today after yesterday's fun and games: the tough flag positions, coupled with the breeze, have knocked just about everyone for six!

Another one bites the dust: a triple-bogey seven for the recently-wet Simpson at 5, a short putt the insult orbiting a whole world of injury. Furyk isn't too far from raking in his long right to left par Hail Mary, but he'll be carding another bogey; he's back to -5. Kuchar meanwhile bumped his second chip 15 feet past the hole, and couldn't tickle the downhill putt into the cup. A double for him, and he's back to -6. And up on 11, Blixt is a dimple away from slipping in a 25-foot birdie putt; he settles happily for par and stays at -5.

Rose's abysmal start continues apace. He pushes his drive at 4 deep into the trees on the right. The shot was that bad, it would have gone out of bounds had it not clattered into a tree. But he's in deep trouble, and in real danger of playing himself out of the tournament! Meanwhile Furyk punches out his chip on 3, but miles past the hole. There was little else he could do. Kuchar, perhaps spooked, goes right under his chip, and leaves the ball in the thick stuff! Martin Kaymer's good start went south quickly, by the way, with bogeys at 2 and 3; he's back to -3. The players are beginning to struggle, though. 62 today? Oh I don't think so!

Simpson, going well at -5, finds himself in rough greenside at 5. He punches out a wedge, nearly holing for birdie, but the ball races on past and eventually rolls off the green and accelerates towards the blue yonder. Scott's wedge into 2 bites in the middle of the green and spins back violently. He can't make the long putt, and drops back to -7. Dufner however tickles a delicate chip to three feet, and deservedly saves par. What a brave little wave of the wedge that was. He's still a shot ahead of Matt Kuchar, but for how long? For Kuch has just hoicked his tee shot into trouble on the left of the long par-three 3rd. Furyk has followed suit.

Yep, it's shoddy all right. Rose races his par putt five feet past the hole, and can't nail the short return. He doubles the par three, and drops back to -3. Lynn drops a shot at 9 after a wayward tee shot; he's back to -2. Meanwhile another birdie for Blixt, who is coming up the rail quietly in this championship! This one's at 9; he's out in 32 strokes, and -5 overall. How he'll be ruing those closing holes yesterday, bogeys at 15, 17 and 18. And a birdie for Rory at 15; he's back to -1.

Scott can only take his medicine and pitch back out onto the fairway. Dufner has a thrash at the green, his ball flying into the rough at the back. He'll have a tricky downhill chip. The pair have jobs on to save their pars. Up on 3, Rose lifts his ball up onto the green, but it flies past the flag and he's left with a 25-footer for par. This is a pretty shoddy start by the man from Hartley Wintney nr Basingstoke.

Rose's tee shot at 3 is astonishingly poor, almost a slice into the gallery and behind the grandstand to the right of the par three. "Fore right!!!" he yells, which is at least polite. Mickelson managed to escape from there earlier in the week, so there is hope. Back on 2, Furyk finds the back of the green, but races his putt way past the hole. Then his par putt's wheeched a good six feet the other way! He'll be dropping a stroke; -6 is where he's now at. And there are no guarantees for Dufner and Scott back on the tee, as they wallop their drives right and left respectively, into the thick stuff. Scott's is particularly poor, as he was playing it safe, while The Somnambulist had the big stick out.

Time, I suggest, for our first leaderboard of the day, now we've finally had some movement on the damn thing ...

-9: Dufner (1)
-8: Kuchar (1), Scott (1)
-7: Furyk (1)
-6: Stricker (3)
-5: Simpson (4), Rose (2), Stenson (2)
-4: Blixt (8), Garrigus (3)

"Send a cheque for £100 payable to S Murray, c/o The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London, N1 9GU!" chorus the gallery, as Justin Rose faffs around by the trees down the right of 2, eventually dropping a shot and slipping back to -5. His playing partner Henrik Stenson drops one on what is proving a difficult hole, too. But back up on 1, the roof's raised by Adam Scott, who rakes in a 35-footer for a stunning birdie! What a start, after a very average approach, too. He's -8. Dufner had hit his second closer, but can't find the cup from 15 feet. He remains at -9.

The most eyebrow raising name towards the top of the leaderboard is probably that of Robert Garrigus, and he's the first of the leading group to blink, dropping one at 2 to slip back to -4. Last year's eyebrow-botherer, David Lynn, is this close to rolling in a 12-footer on 9 for back to back birdies. He stays at -3. The crowd "ooh" in genuine sympathy; he seems a popular figure, as late-bloomers in sport often are. "The entry at 2.37 ET," begins Simon McMahon at 7.46 BST, "actually got me out of my seat as it reminded me to light the candle that Mrs McMahon likes to have burning on a Saturday evening. Is this the first instance of a New York golf fan's shout, as described on the Guardian website, getting a Scottish man up from his seat to light a candle in his living room? And can you please report a shout of 'open another beer' immediately."

The Somnambulist can't be bothered to worry - too much energy, and what's the point - so he's one of the few folk to draw the big stick out of his bag and wave it on the first tee. He's rewarded by avoiding serious trouble. His playing partner Adam Scott follows suit, and fizzes his ball off down the fairway. Everyone's out now, and this is on! A point emphasised by Kuchar, who up on the green knocks in a short birdie putt after popping his second to two feet.

"I'd like to know what Jason Dufner's resting heart-rate is," quips Paul McGinley on the Sky telecast service, to deserved off-mic laughter. Our heavy-lidded hero is on the first tee, waiting to tee off but no doubt thinking how it's only 18 holes until he can put his feet up and drain a glass of iced tea. Speaking of folk who broke the course record yesterday, let's not forget Webb Simpson, and the 2012 US Open champion has just birdied 3 to move to -5.

Last year's runner up David Lynn booms his second shot at 7 pin high, and rolls a 20-footer across the green for a magnificent birdie. He's been nicknamed Lynn Diesel by his fellow pros, by all accounts, after running out of "gas" on the "highway" after putting the wrong-grade fuel into his car en route to Oak Hill. That's delightful.

The penultimate group are on the first tee. The very popular Matt Kuchar, to a chorus of Kuuuuuuuuuuuch, batters a drive down the track. He's followed, albeit in a more rococo style, by the very twiddly Jim Furyk. Down on the green, Rose leaves his birdie putt miles short, but rolls in the five-footer he's left himself. What a competitor this guy is these days. Speaking of someone who will never let things go, Tiger gets up and down from greenside rough at 18 for par, and signs for a three-over 73. He's +4 for the tournament, and out early doors tomorrow.

Rose doesn't get hold of his short iron into 1 at all. He'll no doubt make his two putts for par, but a fast start seems unlikely from there. Sergio's dropped his second shot of the day, this time at 3. He's back to +2. The wind's getting up a wee bit. And having taken a good look at the course now, it would seem the pins are in more awkward positions today, so Dufneresque antics will be at a premium. Still, Dustin Johnson has proved it's possible to rattle in a few birdies. But not a great deal of dramatic movement anywhere on the leaderboard yet, though of course it's early days at the very top.

No the shouting will not end. "Get in the cup!" is the less-lyrical cry down the hole, where Stricker drains a monster straight up the green for an opening birdie! He's -6 now, and one of the many, many players long overdue a major. In a different way, so is Tiger, but after bogeys at 16 and now 17, his putter like a block of ice, he'll not be adding to that 14-strong CV this year. He's +4 for the tournament, and it's +5 years since he last won a major championship. My guess (which I'm well aware is worth nothing, but in this Twitter obsessed era, everyone else is banging on about themselves, so I may as well yap on too)? I reckon he'll get another one, maybe two, but he'll not reach, never mind surpass, Jack Nicklaus's total of 18. Like Monty before him, albeit for different reasons, he wants it a little bit too much. Either way, a valedictory last major at the age of 50, breaking a different sort of record, would be something to witness, huh? I hope I'm still here when it happens.

Good news for Paul Casey, who bogeyed 6, then double bogeyed 7, but has now arrowed his approach to the tough pin at 8, tucked at the back right, for a much-needed birdie. He's back to level par for the tournament. Meanwhile in more Anglonews, Justin Rose is on the tee, and clatters his opening shot straight down the middle. "Light the candle!" shouts some card from the gallery. Will this ever end?

Motorik Martin Kaymer is out. He's been relentless this week, metronomic, and he's just birdied the opening hole. It's great to see him back in control of his game again. He's putting his resurgence down to a root-and-branch re-evaluation of his short game, which he claims was costing him nearly two shots a round! Well, a bogey-free card yesterday attests to a job well done there. He's more majors in him, for sure.

Just seen Sergio's wedge into 2, a beaut clipped to 18 inches to set up his aforementioned birdie. A nice, brisk start by Jason Day, who birdies 2 to move to -3. But it's not all sunshine and light: McIlroy reached the turn in 34, but he's just handed back the shot picked up today at 10 after missing a short-ish par putt. "Those stats showing the cumulative score of players making the cut in all four majors this year are interesting," writes Thomas Wahl. "It would seem to go against the argument that the depth of current players is stronger than ever. I would love to see similar stats through the past couple of decades - from the Seve years, to the Nicklaus, Player, Trevino, Watson eras. Don't suppose you could call over to Sky Television and ask their stats people to look that up?"

Westwood rakes in a monster on 6! That's his second birdie of the day, and he's back up to -3! What a frustrating player Westwood can be. Could he not stick four days' worth of this together just once, and be done with it? There's none better when he's on his game. Speaking of frustration, here comes Sergio! He drops a shot at 1, but bounces straight back with birdie at 2; he's -3. Could he not [cut, paste, swear]

Tiger's troubles might not be in the Mickelson stratosphere, but he's not in the zone either. In a greenside bunker at 16, he splashes out, but the ball doesn't make its way too far up the green, and he's left with a long, long putt for his par. He doesn't make it, and drops back to +3. Here, I was at the soup kitchen when Mickelson was melting down on 14, and I've only just seen the rerun: after thinning his first chip through the green, he sent the one coming back off the front! Lefty is famous for finding new ways to shed shots, but you'll never see the best chipper in the world do that again in a month of Sundays!

A slightly sad end to Kevin Streelman's end, by the way. OK, not sad, just a wee bit downbeat. He bogeyed 18, an unwelcome blemish to an otherwise fine back nine. He's still coming back in 33 strokes, and signs for an excellent 66. As for poor Lefty, he ended bogey-bogey, and he's scribbling his name to a hellish 79. The Open champ ends the day at +10. Still, you can't be on top of your game every day, and he'll always have Muirfield: that closing-round 66 was probably the best in a major championship for about 15 years, maybe even more, so let's cut the dude some slack.

Thanks to Sachin there, who coincidentally is now off to serve soup to toddlers and read fairytales to the homeless. Strange world, huh? And there's something in the air at 6, too, where Zach Johnson has just raked in a monster to move to -2 for this tournament. The upper echelons of the leaderboard are just beginning to oscillate, then, and how about Jonas Blixt, who birdied the opening hole, then peppered 5 with a gorgeous wedge for another birdie to move to -4 overall. The third round is on, everyone!

Westwood misses a birdie at 5 with a shot that is just short of the hole. And with that Scott Murray is back from serving at the local soup kitchen and reading fairytales to toddlers. What a guy. Bye!

And here's that wind playing tricks with the ball. It's just pulled Casey's second shot at 6 away from the hole and cut out the birdie. Casey then misses par with a sloppy iron shot. That's the Englishman's first bogey of the day. He's now par for the day having birdied the three previous holes

"Phil Mickleson needs a map today" quipped Monty on commentary and he ain't wrong. It's been a wretched day for the Open champion who is +6 for the day. He couldn't get up and down from the back of 14, double bogeyed and then stuck his tee shot at 15 in the water leading to another bogey. Lefty is +8 overall, with only two players below him on the leaderboard.

Lee Westwood onto the green with a beautifully lifted third shot at 4 and he birdies with his fourth shot. Good start for the man from Worksop, -5 after three pars and a birdie today.

Oh, that's close for Paul Casey. He went for a long birdie shot at 5 but fell just short. Woods over at 14 has just thwacked his tee-shot with a high cut, looking to blast the ball over the trees and onto the green. It drops into the rough, however.

Oh alright then, let's watch the 1995 Ryder Cup.

Paul Casey thumps the ball down onto green with his second shot at 5. That's some wind blowing across the flag, could play a key role in the remainder of this round. What's this - highlights of the 1995 Ryder Cup at Oak Hill. Lovely images, these, but useless for a man trying to do a live blog on the current USPGA Championship. (Shrugs shoulders and rolls eyes).

Woods short again at 13 and it's a case of 'bye-bye birdie' for the Tiger. Adam Scott, meanwhile, second on the leaderboard after his round two score of -7, is out on the practice greens. Oh look at that belly putter, it's ridiculous. And also fantastic.

Oh Graeme McDowell. A chance for birdie at 5 with a simple-enough looking putt, but he put too much on it and the ball slips past the hole. Lee Westwood does similar at 3 but was aiming to putt from much further out.

Rickie Fowler, who ended yesterday on -2 is out and starts with a solid tee-shot. Back to Woods at 13 and he drops an approach shot on to the green which everyone at Oak Hill thought would spin towards the hole. Instead it dropped like a sack of fat spuds. Not the best.

So to catch up: Woods has just missed a ludicrously short putt on 12 while McIlroy has nailed a -2 birdie on 6.

Good evening campers. Hope you're all well. I'm stepping onto the course while Scott Murray takes a well deserved break. Going to properly get into this, but before I do let me share with you my favourite golf-related clip involving my favourite golf-related man.

OK, I'm off to clean my grooves. Sachin Nakrani will be your guide for the next stretch. See you all soon.

News of the world's Top Two. Mickelson clatters a drive at 14 into the trees. Fair enough, he's going for the green at the risk/reward par-four. No excuse for thinning his chip straight across the dancefloor, though. He'll face a job getting up and down from thick nonsense at the back to save par. Meanwhile Tiger may just have had enough of faffing around. That birdie on 11 seems to have lit a fire: he lifts an approach to six feet. Another birdie, and he'll be back to +1 all of a sudden.

The beautifully upholstered Aphibarnrat clips an iron at 2 to ten feet, then calmly rolls in the putt. I love this guy. He wanders off the green in a manner which makes Jason Dufner look like Usain Bolt. What insouciance. What style! Speaking of The Somnambulist, he's pictured arriving at the course, a rucksack on his back, his thumbs tucked into the straps. He looks like a college student ambling off for a pot fa*g behind the bike sheds.What insouciance. What style!

Lee Westwood's out, clattering a drive 300 yards down the track, sending an 8-iron into the middle of the green, then leaving a 25-footer up the hill a couple of turns short. Nearly the perfect hole, but not quite. Par. Up on 11, Tiger rolls in his birdie putt, but doesn't celebrate. The look on his face suggests he may be thinking "at last", plus a few words cobbled together with syllables such as "eff" and "cee".

Another birdie for Streelman, this time at 16. He's up to -3. "Great round, buddy!" someone in the crowd shouts. They've got that damn straight. This is shaping up to be his best week since winning his maiden tour event at Tampa Bay earlier this year. Tiger takes his frustrations out on the 11th hole, whipping a stunning tee shot at the long par-three to eight feet. Meanwhile up on 3, Paul Casey - who opened with two pars - rakes in a monster right across the green for birdie to move to -2!

Tiger sets up an eight-foot birdie chance on 10 with an exquisite wedge over the flag, but his putt is never going in. He's got Major Fear, it's the only possible explanation given the way he's playing every other week on the regular tour. Rory chips to ten feet on 4, but can't sink the birdie putt. And up on the opening hole, Aphibarnrat curls in a lovely birdie putt through the pretty shadows of the trees, having knocked his approach pin high to ten feet. Brilliant to see another, eh, comfortable player making the grade. The modern obsession with athleticism is ruining sport, the exception to the rule being, of course, athletics.

Gary Woodland seemed to have stemmed the bleeding after that appalling start - +7 through 6 - as he'd parred 7 to 12, then birdied 13. But a double at 14 knocked the stuffing out of him, and further dropped shots at 16 and 17 sees him sign for a ten-over 80. He's propping the entire field up at +13, four shots worse than Stephen Gallacher of Scotland, whose impressive 68 yesterday has been sandwiched by two poor rounds of 75 and 76.

McIlroy is still all over the place from the tee, pushing another into the galleries down the right, this time at 4. But he can get a wood to the ball, and clatters his second towards the green. The ball turns to the right and buries itself in the rough guarding the putting surface, but that's a decent enough result from where he was, and he's half a chance of getting up and down for birdie. If he scrambles like he did at 1 and 3, he's every chance.

Tiger whips his third from the thick rough down the bank to a couple of feet. He'll save his par, having hacked his way down the hole. Up on 12, a birdie for Mickelson, who drains one from 20 feet. And Scott Jamieson, who dropped one at 10, isn't too far from snatching it back at 11 with a monster right across the green, but the ball dies four feet from the pin. Par, and he's level for the tournament. A decent start by Marc Leishman, by the way, who birdies 2 and 4 to join today's other movers, Dustin Johnoson and Kevin Streelman, at -2 overall.

Tiger has a reasonable enough lie in the rough, allowing him to thrash at the ball with a fairway wood. He sends his ball whistling into the thick stuff to the left of the green. Back on 3, Rory bumps a chip to five feet and should save par. Up on 14, Streelman holes out from just off the back of the green, a 12-footer which gives him his second birdie on the back stretch; he's -2 overall.

Lefty couldn't make his birdie putt, though he can cite a huge right-to-left break. Tiger has missed a couple of birdie chances on 7 and 8, and the frustration might have got the better of him, as he wangs a Severianoesque drive into thick hoo-hah down the left of 9. And certainly getting the radge on is Rory, who briefly considers sinking the hosel of his club into the tee box at 3, after dumping his shot into the thick nonsense front right of the green. He thinks better of it, and poses his caddy a test instead, the bagman forced to catch a club lanced at an awkward angle in his direction in mild irritation.

Mickelson is playing awfully, and has left himself a 40-footer for par on 10, another lunatic tee shot the root cause. But he drains the putt and wanders off grinning, playing it for laughs, ostentatiously miming a count of how many shots he's taken, and where from down the hole. "Four?!" he mouths to caddy Bones. There's a reason he's so popular. And here's another: he's knocked his tee shot at 11 to 15 feet, the pin in a very awkward position for a left-hander, tucked away back left.

And he rattles it in! That's one of the great scrambles this week. McIlroy wanders off with a slightly sheepish look on his face; the drive and approach were appalling. But what a chip, and staunch putt to follow. Speaking of knocking them in when it really counts, Dustin Johnson found himself up against it on 18, leaving his third at the back of the green, but slotted the par saver away from 20 feet to sign for a stunning 65. He's -2 for the tournament, and receives a huge ovation from the crowd, partly for his miracle escape, but mainly for that back nine of 31.

Rory gets a free drop in Spectatorville, and loops a stunning Mickelsonesque wedge over the thick grass and onto the very front edge of the green. It's almost too good a shot, because landing it anywhere on the green in front of the flag looked odds-against, yet he's left it short! Still, he'll have a tricky six-foot test to save his par, and if he makes it off the green unscathed, that might give him quite a boost.

Mickelson's been in the wars. Or more specifically in the trees, hacking around down the right of 7. He runs up a triple bogey. And now on 9 he's forced to get up and down from thick rough on the left to save his par. But he can't manage it, and drops another. He's out in 39 strokes. Back on the 1st tee, the defending champion Rory McIlroy comes out to play. Starting out at level par, holding onto the Wanamaker Trophy is unlikely, but still not totally a pipe dream. However, it may be soon: he's hoicked his drive into the spectators down the right, then hacked into trees up the same side. There's a route into the green through the trees from where he is, but there's not much green to play with, so don't be expecting to hear of a par save.

After that errant drive on 4, Tiger managed to escape with a par, and briefly looked to have turned a corner on the 5th by clipping an iron pin high to 12 feet. But he let the birdie effort slip by on the right, and remains at +3. Meanwhile Scott Jamieson of Scotland has enjoyed a decent year, winning his maiden European Tour event, and competing in the Open for a second time. He's certainly enjoying himself here: opening rounds of 69 and 72, and now he's birdied 2 and 7 today; he's -1 for the championship. His dream is to make it to Augusta, though a David Lynn style fairytale may have to wait at least another year, as only the top four at the PGA are guaranteed entry to the Masters.

Otherwise, though, it's a bit quiet at the moment, the calm before the low-scoring storm. With that in mind, a brief intermission, and a comedy classic worth five minutes of anyone's time:

The always entertaining Dustin Johnson is putting a little something together. He's -5 for his round today, with four birdies since the turn, the latest at 16. He's -2 for the tournament, and while probably a little bit too far back to make a meaningful move for the championship, is nevertheless tied for 15th place at this early stage of the third day. The only other folk out on the course at the moment who are under par for the tournament are Kevin Streelman and David Toms, both at -1. Streelman is -3 for his round through 10, while the 2001 winner Toms has birdied the opening hole.

Tiger's just boomed a drive down 5. Unfortunately it's gone over the line spectators down the right. Ian Poulter - presumably having still allowed himself to dream overnight at +1 - is going the same way. He's bogeyed the first two holes, and has dropped back to +3. He still found the time to gift a young fan his ball as he walked off the 1st, though I guess after dropping a shot he was only going to hoy it into the bushes in anger anyway. Still, a lovely touch.

A par for Tiger at 2, but he's in trouble again at 3, leaving his tee shot at the long par-three short right, then chipping hard and fast past the flag from the rough. The ball bites and spins back to 15 feet, but that's a tester for par, far from ideal when he desperately needs to be racking up a few birdies. He really looks out of sorts. And sure enough, he can't make the saver. This is an abysmal start, though it does at least prove that, while Oak Hill is there for the taking if players stay out of trouble from the tees, any adventure into the thick stuff is almost certain to end in hot salty discharge shooting out of the eyes.

Another birdie for de Jonge at 4, moves him up to -1 for the tournament. He's already -3 for his round through six holes. Dustin Johnson's further down the track, but he's also -3 for the day now after picking up another shot at 13. And here's Ken Duke, the veteran who enjoyed a couple of top-20 finishes towards the end of the 2000s, putting a nice card together: he's out in 32, wiping out an opening-hole bogey with birdies at 2, 3, 5 and 9. A man in form this year: 2013 has seen him make the cut for the first time at the Open, and win his first PGA Tour event. With the weather friendly and the course still softened by the rain earlier this week, scores are out there.

Here's a fascinating graphic on the Sky Television service, showing the cumulative score of players making the cut in all four majors this year:

E: Scott
+5: Dufner, Stenson, Day
+7: Westwood
+8: Kuchar
+11: Mickelson
+12: Woods
+13: Snedeker
+16: SERGIO

Some of this year's form players in serious contention here, then: Scott, Dufner, Stenson, Day and Kuchar. A fine weekend stretches out ahead of us.

Mickelson three-putts from the back of 4, charging his birdie effort miles past the hole. I suppose these lads have to be aggressive, desperate for a low score to drag themselves back into the reckoning, but that was too much. Back on 1, Tiger finds the front of the green with his third - a poor wedge - and doesn't give his long par effort enough juice. Bogey. He's +2 now, and that's "five handicap stuff", according to Monty, who is beside himself on Sky in the throes of an apoplexy. Tiger doesn't even look angry any more, just resigned. At the moment, this is depressing to witness.

The early signs are no good for Tiger. He allows his clubhead to be turned over by the rough, sending his ball clanking into trees 100 yards down the hole on the left. The ball takes a lucky ricochet back out onto the fairway, but he's already struggling to save his par. The look on his defeated coupon suggests he knows his game isn't up to it this week. We'll see if that's the case, but a week's a long time in golf, as Rab Butler should have said. "You cannot be hitting 3-woods for safety off the first tee and miss the fairway," laughs an incredulous Colin Montgomerie on Sky. Preach on, big man. What on earth is happening to poor Tiger in the majors these days? Something's snapped in his head. A quick fix soon, please, golfing gods, for there's nothing quite like watching Tiger on top of his game and chasing the big prizes.

Tiger's out and about! From the tee, he's clapped a 3-wood into the first cut of rough down the left. That shouldn't be too much trouble to get out of, though getting his ball close to the flag for that early birdie chance might be a big ask, with control a major issue the second you leave the fairway. Tiger needs a fast start, back down the field at +1, and hopefully he's in a lighter mood than he was from the off yesterday, when he carried the world on his shoulders all the way round. Another pre-tournament favourite, and another already certain of legendary status, is Phil Mickelson: he's birdied 3 to move to +1, and has given himself half a chance on the par-five 4th, on the apron in three, 15 feet from the hole.

This is how the top of the leaderboard looks, going into the third round:

-9: Dufner
-7: Scott, Kuchar, Furyk
-6: Rose, Stenson
-5: Garrigus, Stricker
-4: Simpson, Kaymer, Hoffman, Fraser
-3: SERGIO, Castro
-2: Piercy, Day, Mahan, Fowler, Haas, Lynn, Blixt
-1: Westwood, Z Johnson, Aphibarnrat, Casey, Thompson, McDowell

But low scores are clearly available. Here's the early data: Brendon de Jonge's birdied 1 and 2 to move to level par overall; Dustin Johnson's -2 for his round through 10 and +1 for the championship; and Harris English, Ken Duke and Brooks Koepka are all also two shots to the good today, none of them having played more than six holes. Unless one of these guys begins piecing together a Dufneresque charge, this info is of limited use in itself. But the wider picture suggests a few players further up the leaderboard may well make some significant moves towards the top today. Buckle in, Moving Day could be one hell of a ride.

Before we get too carried away with all this talk of low scoring, let's spare a thought for Gary Woodland, who through the first six holes today has carded the following: bogey, bogey, birdie, double bogey, triple bogey, bogey. That's +7 already. Woodland's one of the biggest hitters on tour, so I can only conclude that he's been spraying it deep into uncharted territory where, untroubled by foot of spectator or player, the rough is lush, long and particularly difficult to escape from. I also assume his caddy's busted his driver upside his head and chucked it behind a bush, because he's since parred 7 and 8.

The weather is expected to be fair all day, though we've been lied to before, through the teeth and all, by the gaggle of charlatans, chancers and bandits working for various meteorological agencies this week. It was only meant to rain for about an hour yesterday, for a start. Yes, I know! But who else can we trust?

So, there'll be a light breeze at times, but otherwise we're set fair for a lovely sunny day! Oak Hill, therefore, if this is true, will have its defences down again, and should be there for the taking, if anyone's in the mood to drive straight, pitch the ball close, and put on a performance like renowned magic act The Somnambulist & Simpson did yesterday. Is a 62 on the cards? Surely not. But what's the point of watching sport if you don't spend half the time away in a daydream?

Before we start, an early request from the man at the toppermost of the MBM poppermost, Gary Naylor."Can you keep us up to date with the Golf Boys' progress?" he yawns, too bone idle to check for himself that Rickie (Paul) and Hunter (George) are both positioned nicely at -2, Bubba (Ringo) has Bubba-da-bubba-da-buggered off for the weekend, boo hoody hoody hoo, and Ben Winston Ono Crane does that late-70s househusband-at-Dakota thing whenever the majors are on.

Actually, knowing the work ethic of Naylor as we all do- 987,398 emails and counting - he's not slacking at all. He's just manufacturing an excuse for this to be posted again:

So good on him."And," he continues, "if the European Tour were to make a riposte, who would be in the quartet? Sergio, obviously, but then who?"

Well. Can I let fellow HBH reader Elizabeth Nelson-Bracy field this one?

"You might enjoy this rejoinder to thetroubling phenomenon that was the Golf Boyz, my band's tribute to British golf and the men who have long made it great and occasionally Montgomerie-styleharrowing. Have we gone completely on vacation from our senses? Perhaps. Is the best way to address such things to do nothing at all? Of course. But seeing an utterly magnetic Bubba Watson mincing about shirtless one time too many – joyful as he may be - was just enough to tip us into negative equanimity, and the only thing we could think to do was write, record and produce this song and video in our kitchen before retreating to a dark room to mutter incoherently for an unspecified amount of time. We recordasthe pub rock band The Paranoid StyleforBar-None Records, and while thisan unofficial release, it certainly reflects some deeper values."

So there you have it, Gary. Possessingthe musical tastes of an irritable pensioner, I'm in no position to make any value judgement on this pop platter - the last CD I bought was a compilation of old Colombian 78s which sound as though they were recorded in a barn by a drunk using an empty tin can, a candle, a rusty needle and a thick sheet of greaseproof paper - though I do wonder whether the rather bland Europeans have the sass and all-round sexxxxx appeal to go toe-to-toe with the more funky Americans in the boy-band market. I could see Martin Kaymer fronting a synth collective specialising in 27-minute motorik grooves, mind you, or Sergio restyled as a Scott Walker for the new millennium.

Oh! To die of kisses
Ecstasies and charms
Pavements of poets will write that I died
In nine angels' arms
And they all were smiling
Still seductive as sin in their eyes
The man I had been
No more hard-luck stories to wear
Nothing left to give!
Why the hell should I care?

Granted, it's not "Stewie Stewie Cink, Stewie Stewie Cink, I got a drippy faucet on my Stewie Stewie Cink."But then, hey, what is?

Major championships often take two rounds, three rounds, maybe even 71 holes, to warm up.But the 95th PGA Championship has been on a rolling boil pretty much from the get-go, with Oak Hill - defenceless if there's good behaviour off the tees - offering scores to those who really want them.

If the 65s shot by Jim Furyk and Adam Scott on day one weren't stunning enough, yesterday's action made for jaw-dropping viewing.Webb Simpson equalled the course record set by Ben Hogan in 1942 and matched by Curtis Strange in 1989 with a swashbuckling 64. Then, the ink still not dry on the revised record book, Jason 'The Somnambulist' Dufner sauntered out onto the course after a nice long lie-in and shot a 63 to erase Hogan, Strange and Simpson from the picture, and equal the best-ever score in any major championship.

He should have smashed through the magical 63 barrier, of course:the silly bugger didn't hit putts on 15, 17 and 18, leaving them all short, the one on the last especially the kind of tight-shouldered effort that'd keep most players up all night drenched in cold sweat, a rare chance to make history out the window. But not our Jase. He'd sleepwalked around the course en route to his 63 - his reaction to holing out from the fairway on 2 for eagle, a reluctant fist-bump with his caddy when he'd much rather be conserving precious energy, was perfectly in character - and afterwards he seemed happy enough to share the major-championship record with legends such as Tiger Woods, Greg Norman, Payne Stewart, Nick Faldo, Gary Player, Ray Floyd and Jack Nicklaus. Not bad company to keep, huh?

But don't be fooled, he wants this title.He's mentioned the word "redemption", with reference to his near miss at the 2011 PGA. Uh-oh! It's a bit like when Jerry Seinfeld discovered some salty discharge coming out of his eyes. He feels!

Plenty of golf to be played yet, though.And plenty of other big names eyeing the prize. They'll all be hoping to post a low score on Moving Day, with a view to striking the killer blow tomorrow afternoon. Here's when they all start making their moves...

8.25am EDT, 1.25pm BST: Matt Jones
8.35am EDT, 1.35pm BST: Stephen Gallacher, Scott Stallings
8.45am EDT, 1.45pm BST: Dustin Johnson, Rafael Cabrera-Bello
8.55am EDT, 1.55pm BST: Ryan Palmer, Ben Curtis
9.05am EDT, 2.05pm BST: Gary Woodland, Tommy Gainey
9.15am EDT, 2.15pm BST: John Merrick, D.A. Points
9.25am EDT, 2.25pm BST: Brandt Snedeker, Harris English
9.35am EDT, 2.35pm BST: Ken Duke, Danny Willett
9.45am EDT, 2.45pm BST: Kevin Streelman, Brooks Koepka
9.55am EDT, 2.55pm BST: David Hearn, J.J. Henry
10.05am EDT, 3.05pm BST: Luke Guthrie, Josh Teater
10.15am EDT, 3.15pm BST: Brendon de Jonge, John Senden
10.25am EDT, 3.25pm BST: Vijay Singh, Phil Mickelson
10.45am EDT, 3.45pm BST: Scott Jamieson, Darren Clarke
10.55am EDT, 3.55pm BST: Thorbjorn Olesen, K.J. Choi
11.05am EDT, 4.05pm BST: Keegan Bradley, Tiger Woods
11.15am EDT, 4.15pm BST: Shane Lowry, Peter Hanson
11.25am EDT, 4.25pm BST: Ian Poulter, Marc Warren
11.35am EDT, 4.35pm BST: Boo Weekley, Thongchai Jaidee
11.45am EDT, 4.45pm BST: David Toms, Matteo Manassero
11.55am EDT, 4.55pm BST: Marc Leishman, Hideki Matsuyama
12.05pm EDT, 5.05pm BST: Ryan Moore, Chris Kirk
12.15pm EDT, 5.15pm BST: Francesco Molinari, Rory McIlroy
12.25pm EDT, 5.25pm BST: Tim Clark, Miguel Angel Jimenez
12.35pm EDT, 5.35pm BST: Graeme McDowell, Ryo Ishikawa
12.45pm EDT, 5.45pm BST: Paul Casey, Michael Thompson
12.55pm EDT, 5.55pm BST: Zach Johnson, Kiradech Aphibarnrat
1.05pm EDT, 6.05pm BST: Jonas Blixt, Lee Westwood
1.25pm EDT, 6.25pm BST: Bill Haas, David Lynn
1.35pm EDT, 6.35pm BST: Hunter Mahan, Rickie Fowler
1.45pm EDT, 6.45pm BST: Scott Piercy, Jason Day
1.55pm EDT, 6.55pm BST: Sergio Garcia, Roberto Castro
2.05pm EDT, 7.05pm BST: Charley Hoffman, Marcus Fraser
2.15pm EDT, 7.15pm BST: Webb Simpson, Martin Kaymer
2.25pm EDT, 7.25pm BST: Robert Garrigus, Steve Stricker
2.35pm EDT, 7.35pm BST: Justin Rose, Henrik Stenson
2.45pm EDT, 7.45pm BST: Matt Kuchar, Jim Furyk
2.55pm EDT, 7.55pm BST: Jason Dufner, Adam Scott

And we'll start making our moves at 10.30am EDT, 3.30pm BST, a purely arbitrary time plucked from the ether, but one which seems somehow exactly right. Join us!